I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
