This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
