Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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