I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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