I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
