don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
