nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
