If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
