I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
