what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
