Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
