i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
