i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
