she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
my being single is dangerous.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
