i may or may not be watching the land before time
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
