but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
