I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
