i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
