Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
