wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
MIDGETS
????
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
