3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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