I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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