You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm getting married
To pizza
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
