Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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