Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Come on in and take your pants off
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