Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
