I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't deserve a penis
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
