im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
