Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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