Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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