Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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