I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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