Got a toothbrush?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
