Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
