There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
