i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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