I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
