What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
