your room smells of hookers.
And success
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
