That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
