I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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