your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
