i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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