Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
so much tequila, so little girl.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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