at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
