Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
