One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
