some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
