Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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