Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
