I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
