Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
