He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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