Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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