So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
