can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
