its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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